It has been a very long time since I experienced a day like today.  I have struggled with church and religion and congregations over the past few years, ever since we moved from the Coast.  Knowing it was good and right to attend and "try", and tired and discouraged that the trying was so hard and lonely.

I woke up this morning later than usual and almost suggested that we not go.  Hubby has work now and was blessed with hours today. But we kicked it into high gear speed wise and rustled off.  I took some time to talk with a friend and her husband who have been very dear to our family and got to shed a tear over some news that they had, but also shared love and joy over our friendship.  Then I walked into our packed facility, finding an empty seat next to the people in our core group.  I was standing there singing the opening song – praising my heavenly Father for all He has blessed me with and had  the strangest feeling that I have not felt in a very long time. 

It was peace, mixed with joy, mixed with awe, mixed with hope, mixed with love, mixed with security, mixed with anticipation – all wrapped up into a moment.  On the stage sat a new friend whom I adore, and stood many friends who have been an active part in our family this past summer.  In front of me is a woman who has kept tabs on us weekly and provided for many of our incidental needs, was there when anything happened with flowers, or cookies, or a starbucks card.  Surrounding me were most of the people in our new family core group.  Buzzing around are our church leaders, making sure that every one has a seat and a cup of coffee and a couple of cookies.  (choco always important).  I am praising the Lord in song, and in my heart, and this whole moment was just a flip of a second, but felt like a moment in time that I just wanted to hug. Hold on to.  Not let go.  It has been so long since I felt like I belonged. Had a place. Had a purpose.  Oh sure- I have friends, I serve, I am a wife and a mom.  But just speaking in the family of God.  A place.  I knew when we moved that my family at First Baptist in Coos Bay would never be replaced, but I was hoping that I’d at least move to a place where all of their spiritual cousins hung out!  I felt that peace this morning.

I carried that wonderment all through the day.  Flipping each person’s face through my memory, remembering the love and joy and security that they bring to my family – but knowing that it is Christ in them that makes it so.  

I could go on and on – but I will just share that I prayed for joy to come again to my heart, it has been so heavy and sad and tired, and the Lord restored that joy today. 

Praise Him.