Sorry for the sniveling post yesterday – I had thought about deleting it this morning – But it was a real day – shared with you. I’d like to share the advice I received yesterday in Email – Facebook and the comments here.
I should have seen the storm approaching. But my focus was off. I should have seen it coming. I was focusing more on the tools of learning – than the joy of learning. Of doing things “right” and “good enough”. One piece of curriculum added to another – each moving my focus – It is hard to explain. We need to know the end result of learning – will be that they can express themselves, solve problems, love to learn, know how to research to find answers, feel the victory of a challenge accomplished well.
I wasn’t focused on the future – I was focused on This Fifteen Minutes. Finish the Page. Write it Better. Figure it Faster. Grasp it more easily. Understand it deeper. Draw it with more detail. Write it with more passion. The Sun and the Rain. Doing it well. Comparing to the highest standard of the curriculum guidelines. Have you compared your child’s best with the best results a curriculum could ask for? The Raging starts inside- Of you. Of your Child.
This is when the foaming starts. Of the Mouth. Anxiety. How do I get them to understand? How Do I get them to do it? How do I get them to do it better? Hmmm. Seems like their education is more about them. Than I. The pounding waves strips away the sand from the rocks, foam splashes in the waves. Did you know that the foam is the dead planktin? This story of a Cappuccino Coast tells of death. Of plants. Animals. Plankton. Foaming of the mouth carries death too.
Great. I know I need to calm down. Find off time. Drink more cappuccinos. (I just threw that in for my friend Mindy so she could bring me one.) But how do we change the day to find the joy of learning again?
First – We took and Emergency Trip this morning. Before any chores. Before any Spelling. Nathan and I stopped to get some coffee and a donut – for no reason whatsoever – and headed to the beach. We had been trapped in the house for too long. Colds. Cold Fronts. Rain and Wind. One of the things I like most about the Handbook of Nature Study is taking the 15 minutes outside. One can dry off. Warm up. Cover ears from Wind. Dust off. 15 minutes outside. We need to do it more.
Next – I think it was Amanda that reminded me that we are working to the end of the page – instead of around a time. We used to tell the boys that they needed to work on math for a certain time per day. 15 minutes? 30 Minutes? It didn’t matter if we worked through one problem or 20 pages. Disciplined time training was the goal. Learning at their pace was key. Knowing that there would be and end in site to a hard task would lighten the load. I will go back to working in time fragments instead of Lesson Plan Accomplished fragments.
Finally – I will make a better effort to connect here. And on the phone with friends. Yesterday during a panic attack I called a friend. We laughed. It sure sounds funny when you have to speak your behavior out loud. This morning Mrs. White shared that she too has to send herself to a time out. Knowing we are not the only crazies out there helps.
I know I said Finally before – but Seriously – I had to remember 7 words. The First two are I Can’t. Read Stuff Christians Like to find the rest of the phrase. Sometimes however, for homeschool moms – I Can’t is the hardest part to swallow.
The Joy Of Discovery. I very interested in hearing how families combine the Joy of Discovery through the older ages. I know for me – it will have more to do with me, than with the boys. I need to stay focused on the ideals of Charlotte Mason, Anna Comstock, and others who have gone before me – with my eyes on the Lord’s Goals. Nathan came home refreshed today. I found Jon coloring in his 4th picture to mail to Mimi, with an envelope addressed. Beautiful Pictures, detailed, colorful, full of narration. He just needed time – free time – to enjoy his craft.
The sun is peeking over the hill. We still had hail this morning – but with joy. Nathan still did his spelling this morning. Jon did his writing. We are taking day off to celebrate Dad’s birthday – he had a half day today from work. These photos were taken this morning on our walk!
I feel the anxiety leaving – Thank you friends. I cherish your comments – advice – & words of wisdom so much.
I’ve been in that place. I’m probably at least kind of in that right now, actually. I’m trying hard to focus on the long term, not on each single day.
Thanks for posting to the Helpful Homeschool Hints meme!
…and today I’m sitting in your yesterday…pushing and shoving to get this work done or else! Think maybe I need to take these boys and hold them awhile, talk and leave the school so we can find that true North of homeschooling. True North would not be getting this silly work done NOW. Hm. Oh, funny how one day you think you’ve got it figured out and the next day you remember you just never did.
xoxo, glad your day is better today. You’re a good mama. We’ll work together, push each other along and one day we’ll find we’ve worked ourselves out of a job. *sigh* That is the saddest day EVER.