This review has been a long time coming. I’m sorry for that. I asked to review Team US, Marriage Together back in January.
But when I got the book, I just couldn’t open it. For a long time. I saw the other reviews, and even had permission from a close friend to use her words just to pass the date requirement. But in the end, I emailed Flyby and told them what was going on.
Truth was, our family has been through the ringer the past two years. Deaths. Physical injuries. Two surgeries. The end of our financial rope. The end of grace and mercy – almost.
I started reading the book and it was ‘too cute’. A young couple. Seems like they are ten years into it. My cynical voice said – Wait til you are 25 years in with 24 moves and kids and financial hardships. Physical pain. Then write a book. But I promised to review it, so I started reading it this past month.
What I found – was endearing. I liked the idea of Team Us. I identified with it. A choice. A choice to be on the same team, facing any obstacle together. Even when the obstacles are our own selves.
It was encouraging to read through their daily struggles. Triumphs. It is a different generation than mine. I’ve been going to our Moms Group in town with the 20-30 somethings. I could hear their heart in this book. And my friends – who reviewed earlier – their agreement was that this is not a “Marriage How To” book – but more of a – ‘This is what we’ve been through and still survived.” Refreshing.
I didn’t want to sit at the table of a young married woman and be told if I just folded more socks, made more soup, hugged a bit tighter, and forgave, that my team would be better. And she didn’t. She just shared her heart. And the more chapters I read, the more I was surprised at the transparency of it all. I like this blog to be transparent, but they have taken it to print.
It actually reminded me of the time between our 5-10 year anniversary. The shifting. learning. Grown. Getting rid of self. Preserving self. Learning what it is like for just He and I alone. It was a good thing.
Although there were many things in their book that my husband and I did not go through, one thing rang clear towards the end in the Finishing Well chapter.
She speaks of family divorces. She says, “Right there and then, we sat down on the couch together and prayed. We asked the lord to help us be different. We begged hHim to protect our union, to see to it that the family pattern of relationships ending would end with us. We resolved that our marriage would be a lifelong effort no matter what challenges we faced”. She said she knew what it was like to “have a gnarled family tree”.
Those were the words that my husband and I spoke before we were married. And during our honey moon. That we would not find ourselves 5-10-20 years into our marriage and utter the words, “Why did we get married.” “I don’t remember ever really loving you.” We committed our first years of marriage to building a foundation. Building memories. So that years down the road, when conflict came, and lives became separated – we could say – but remember when. And have a pin point on a time line to say – during that time. We loved passionately. And it was enough.
Funny thing is, 25 years down the line, because we started with a Team Us attitude, our team has grown together, not apart. And I am thankful. That is what I got from this book. Be mindful. Work together. Many young moms came to mind as I read this, and this book will be passed around our Mom’s group for sure.
So even though it took me a long time to get into it. Once I did, I really enjoyed the journey with this young couple. In the end, we learn that her husband is 10 years older than the writer. Interesting. But it doesn’t change the story.
It might even encourage you to write out your story. To share the tidbits of learning how to not only live together, but to grow together. It’s a small book, a good read. My advice is to check it out.
- Vimeo Video – https://vimeo.com/102767372
- Web Page –http://marriagetogether.com/
- Ashleigh Slater, Conversations over Coffee Blog – http://ashleighslater.com/team-us/
From the Publisher:
176 pages / Forward by Dr. Gary Chapman (author of 5 Love Languages)
What are you agreeing to when you say “I do”? When a couple promises “I do,” they agree to more than just a shared last name, a joint bank account, and no more dateless nights. This husband and wife duo forms a new team. “Life together” becomes their mantra. Nothing can come between them. At least, that’s the plan. But then real life sets in. With it come disappointments and frustrations. If the couple isn’t intentional in their day-to-day interactions, that once enthusiastic “we” can slowly revert to “you” and “me.” Before long, the couple’s left wondering what happened to their team spirit.
Team Us: Marriage Together offers couples practical ways to cultivate and strengthen unity in their marriages. Author Ashleigh Slater shares from her own marriage as she presents couples with realistic ideas on how to foster cooperation, deepen commitment, and exercise grace on a daily basis.
“Finishing your marriage story well is definitely within your reach, no matter what your history tells you.”
“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this book to me. Opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.