If you follow me on Facebook, you’ll know that the weather has been fantastic this week and I’ve spent my fair share of hours at the beach watching the surfers. Monday morning I saw this flock of Gulls and thought of my friend and snapped a few shots. She lives 2 hours away, and I wished that she lived closer to share the moment in person, instead of as a post on her FB wall.
Sunday I found myself in a conversation about finding solitude. It was in regards to prayer, meditation, truly finding quiet. They encouraged each other to find time to be alone, quiet, be in a prayer state of mind, reflective, meditating. And I thought over my last week and week to come. With the Thanksgiving Holiday, the schools are all out. Which means that we’d probably become Camp Mil Mar, the home for boys. I’d be surrounded by boys, or at the beach watching them surf, running here or there, taxi mom to my now working teen. Busy, but alone.
This wall is one of my favorite prayer spots. I love to sit here, it is about 10 feet above the sand, feet dangling or curled up on a blanket. I bring my backpack full of books and cup of coffee. I can stare at the horizon, keep an eye on Jon in the water. Maybe get up and walk on the beach for a bit. I pray for the boys in the water. It is weird to say, but I’m old enough to be mother of most them. I pray for my hubby’s day, for his co workers. I have a lot of time to listen when my thoughts run dry, when my groanings cease, and I let the Holy Spirit pray for me, and agree to what He brings to mind.
It is during these times that the Spirit will bring to mind a topic about one of the boys. Or an answer to a struggle. He might reveal something coming up in the week for me to be ready for. He’ll bring a forgotten task to memory. He’ll lift a face and a word so I can stand on the wall for them.
Monday an older surfer tried to tell Jon how lucky he was that he had a mom that would take him surfing all the time. He shared a few stories on how his mom would hide his board to punish him. I couldn’t help thinking how lucky I am that I have a reason to hit the beach every morning that the weather is great. We show up early, during the twilight. As it gets closer to 8:30 the other surfers arrive and chat about good spots. The spotlight of the morning son starts to crest the eastern hill and lights up the white crests beautifully. It takes my breath away every day. I thank Jon for his love of the ocean, and letting me be a part of it.
I shared with the group, that in my spot in life, with the ages of the boys, I find that I can simmer too long in the quiet meditation phase of my day. That I have been feeling the push to reach out. Gather more. Be with friends. Try to find mentoring relationships in town. We have become more involved in a co-0p that meets once a week and I am making it a priority to attend, even with the kids being younger, I can still be there as a mom. I reach out a lot online, in my groups, on my blog, in the forums. But I’d like to have those gatherings in person as well.
Generally, it’s just me and the birds. So busy mamas of littles, there will come a day, soon, that your kids will be there, yet engaged in their own projects. There will be more school work, but they’ll be trained to dig deep on their own and share their findings with you. The side by side struggle with tears over that difficult subject will end after it is conquered. Keep on. Press on. I encourage you to gather with other moms. Create deeper friendships. Go outside of your comfort zone. Share a bit too much about yourself. It will be worth it.